Pregnancy Journals
While carrying my daughters I faced quite a few unexpected hurdles, both times ruining my dreams of a minimum intervention midwife assisted pregnancy and delivery. I know many women with similar or even more complicated stories than mine. Something inside has been telling me I need to write down my stories. Maybe there is someone out there who will be inspired by them as they face their own challenges. If not, thats ok too, this journal is my way to remember the steps that brought me this far, reflecting on the hurdles that occurred and once again moving past them to celebrate my amazing experiences creating and growing life.
Rose
Decision
Over the Winter holidays of 2020, me and my husband started talking about whether or not we wanted another child and if we could have another child. Our first daughter Lilly, currently 3.5 years, was expressing a desire for a sibling and our original hope was to have multiple children. We decided that despite the chaos of the world, it was the right time for our family to grow. And so our second daughter was conceived during the beginning of 2021. Almost immediately after we made our decision, I started having dreams about being pregnant and when the time came for our first pregnancy test we were both pleased and surprised to find a positive result. While sitting together staring at the test, probably with goofy expressions on our faces, Lilly comes up to us and asks “Who is it?” “Exactly sweety, mommy is going to have a baby.”
First Trimester Scare
On March 2nd I experienced one of the most dreaded fears of a mother during the first trimester, I was bleeding. Terrified I was miscarrying, frantic calls to doctors and my husband resulted in blood tests and waiting. On March 5th More frantic phone calls occurred when a voice mail received while working indicated I needed to take an emergency ultrasound appointment. The ultrasound left me both relieved and still freaked out. I was not miscarrying, whew, BUT they were not sure why I had bled and noted that the babies sack was possibly misshapen. More waiting as a follow up ultrasound was scheduled. My second ultrasound occurred on March 24th, Great News!, my baby was fine. They confirmed the bleeding was caused by a pocket of blood and everything regarding the baby looked normal; How amazing it was to hear her heartbeat so early.
But that was not the only news…
That ultrasound began an entire journey for me. They found a cyst on my left ovary. It posed a torsion hazard, something that if it occurred would require emergency surgery. However, It was too dangerous to do anything about the cyst until the second trimester, So with fingers crossed more waiting occurred. Regular ultrasounds monitored the growth of the cyst until a stressful day of rearranged doctors appointments resulted in a final decision. On April 30th I knew I would be undergoing laparoscopic surgery to remove my left ovary as soon as the doctors could schedule me into the OR. This was the safest time for my baby and would remove the risk to me and her of possible emergency surgery. Regardless, I was furious with my body for growing this thing while it was supposed to be caring for my baby, upset that part of my body was going to be removed, grappling with the minimal risks to my baby, and terrified of undergoing the first surgery of my life (Unless you count wisdom teeth a few years earlier.) On May 13th my ovary was successfully removed and a painful recovery followed, But me and my baby were safe and healthy. My hope: having overcome this hurdle I dreamed of moving forward to enjoy the remainder of my pregnancy…
Enjoying the Journey
Things went well for a while. We had our normal 2nd trimester ultrasound and learned we were having a girl. We got to visit family and have a small baby shower. Everything was great!
Until a new diagnosis
On July 20th I was diagnosed with hypertension, changed to Preeclampsia by July 23rd. This meant for the next couple of months I would be having weekly appointments including either an ultrasound or non-stress test. I would also be regularly checking my blood pressure at home. To help with scheduling and for my health I reduced my work schedule form 40 hrs a week to 30 hrs. The biggest news of this diagnosis, something I would have to find a way to accept, was that my Halloween baby would end up coming early because despite my strong wishes to go into labor naturally with this pregnancy for my safety we would induce at 37 weeks. The great news was my baby continued growing steadily and my blood pressure stayed within the tolerances and no other symptoms developed.
The arrival of Autumn
Fall arrived and we were enjoying many of the normal moments of pregnancy. We were getting so excited to welcome our new girl into the world.
Really I’m sick?
12 days before I was scheduled to be induced I began feeling sick. I had a terrible headache which wouldn’t go away with medication or rest and high blood pressure. Believing my preeclampsia was the cause I headed into the hospital in the middle of the night half expecting I would be delivering my baby. Luckily this was not the case, the blood pressure was extra elevated due to stress and the headache had another cause. After checking in I began running a fever and a test revealed I was positive for both COVID and a cold. (Both of which I was most likely exposed to through my job.) After receiving an IV to increase my fluid levels and keep my baby safe, I returned home to quarantine and recover. After four difficult days I began feeling human again. Twice weekly monitoring of my baby included going into the hospital for prearranged appointments with extra safety protocols in place. The staff I worked with during this period were amazing! They took care of me and my baby with no judgement or complaint and I couldn’t be more grateful. I recovered and spent the second week of my quarantine preparing our home for our baby and mentally preparing for my induction.
Induction and Delivery
The day had arrived. Bright and early, me and my husband checked into the hospital and the induction process began. Based on my labor experience with my first daughter I knew I would be getting an epidural sometime during the process but wanted to try laboring as naturally as possible for as long as I could maintaining the freedom move around, take a warm bath, and use a birthing ball. I made it until evening, then spent the night with needed relief. The first light of day came and I felt it was time, I felt like she as ready. A nurse check confirmed I was correct and three pushes resulted that amazing moment when Rose was born. She was placed on my chest and a new chapter began…
