Pregnancy Journals
While carrying my daughters I faced quite a few unexpected hurdles, ruining my dreams of a minimum intervention midwife assisted pregnancy and delivery. I know many women with similar or even more complicated stories than mine. Something inside has been telling me I need to write down my stories. Maybe there is someone out there who will be inspired by them as they face their own challenges. If not, thats ok too, this journal is my way to remember the steps that brought me this far, reflecting on the hurdles that occurred and once again moving past them to celebrate my amazing experiences creating and growing life.
Lilly
Surprise!
I was in my last year of college with a busy full time semester that included a student teaching practicum while also working part time. When I came down with the “stomach flu” in October it wasn’t much of a surprise, it sticking around forever and the strangeness of throwing up in the morning and wanting the eat wings for dinner was a surprise. Not sure what was going on I finally decided to buy a pregnancy test. The next morning I was sitting on the couch holding the pregnancy test waiting for my husband to get home from his over night shift to share the news.
The beginning:
The summer before I had picked up a seasonal full time job as a painter in addition to my year round part time job working as an evening custodian for a veterinary school. Working 60+ hours of manual labor was not appreciated by my body and near the end of the Summer I fractured the hooks on two of the vertebra in my lower back. Knowing something was wrong I stopped working the painting job but continued with my part time job while using a brace. I also started physical therapy for my back including yoga for my muscles and jogging to improve my core. In August I returned to college starting a very busy semester taking what precautions I could to continue healing. I had no idea that shortly into this healing process I was going to become pregnant, but that’s exactly what happened.
Sharing the News:
After coming home to find me holding a pregnancy test, my husband and I headed to a restaurant for a nice breakfast together and made our new plans for the future. When it came time to tell family we had a couple of fun ideas. We were heading down to visit for Christmas, so we bought a special present for my husbands parents and my mom. We ordered cute giraffe ornaments and wrote a personal message on the inside of each box telling them they were grandparents. I will always remember sitting attentively as the ornaments were unwrapped and the words read just waiting for their reactions, which were joyous.
The Journey:
My pregnancy was busy as I continued full time school and part time work, a lot of it was a blur but some memories will stay forever. I remember one day laying down on an air mattress, we were moving out of our apartment into a rental home, taking a mid day rest and looking at a baby tracking app trying to wrap my brain around the fact that a life was growing inside me. At this time Lilly was supposedly about the size of a kiwi, so as me and my husband talked about this new change we began calling her Kiwi, a nickname that stuck until she was born. I remember a few evenings cuddled up in front of the fireplace after a very long day at both school and work finding relief in the warmth and quiet. I also remember weekends spent “nesting” as I tried to organize (or reorganize) all the baby items (unfortunately we were destined to move again about a month after Lilly was born). Everyday I took time to do prenatal yoga and everything seemed to be going great, even my back was doing quite well. With what little free time I had left, I would sit before bed reading a book about caring for a baby trying to prepare myself for the special day when she would arrive.
Nearing the End:
I graduated from college and walked across the stage at 8 months pregnant. My Brother In-Law gave me one of my favorite presents by giving my Mom a ride up for my graduation. This was a moment we had both waited so long for, and I got to spend some special time with her right before her granddaughter would be born. I enjoyed a few weeks of only working one part time job as I entered my 9th month. I continued preparing for our baby and packing our house to move now with the extra help of my Mother in Law.
40 weeks- Time for Birth
At 40 weeks I was officially diagnosed with hypertension and strongly encouraged by my midwife to schedule an induction. The next evening we were at the hospital starting what would be over 30 hours of induced labor. My husband stayed by my side and my Mother and Law was a frequent visitor. I know that she will never forget being present at the birth of her first grandchild. Lilly arrived and the next hours were a blur of fear, joy, confusion, and instincts but full of moments none of us will ever forget.
Settling In
We left the hospital to one rental house and settled into chaotic routines of feeding and sleeping while finishing packing and preparing to move. Despite all the chaos, I will always remember navigating my way through the transition to being a mom.
